Last afternoon at work, I finally pulled the trigger…more or less.  I sent the following E-mail off to my supervisor, who is based two provinces from where I work:

Okay, Ruth Ann, following up on our brief morning chat….

While you’ve been gone, enough flustering job-related things have gone on that I’ve decided I need to take a very close look at possible Retirement.

But I can’t give this the kind of attendance I need to, because I never have the time for sufficient reflection.

Consequently, I am going to book off a long stretch of time beginning in September.  I have no plans to do any traveling.

I just want to see what I can do with myself.

And do it without being limited by that oppressive awareness that Monday is going to require a return to work for yet another week…before I get two more all-too-sparse days off.

So I’d like to cruise into the Fall, while sampling actual days of time – one precious day after the other – that will feel entirely and truly my own.

It will also allow me to examine the real possibility of finally embracing Retirement…and whether there are options open to me to take it on with a feeling of security.

I’ll have my 61^st birthday on Thanksgiving Day, October 11.

Do I want to keep postponing Retirement, and the enjoyment of what remains of “the rest of my life?”

I’ve got to come to a full conclusion about that, and to make the decision without the workplace demands and distractions that I very much find remain with me, even over weekends.

I’d also kind of like to be of more help to Jack with her restaurant, too.  I’m unsure if I’ve even been there on as many as 10 separate days since she took it over back on March 15^th.

I need a good break!

And it’ll give me the time away to recognize whether I want to take on making it a permanent break.  After all, the first possible Retirement date that yields me an estimated monthly Pension that’s worth as much as $1,800 isn’t until November 24^th.  I’ve never felt comfortable about trying to Retire with less than that, so then would be the earliest I’d care to go.

Lots for me to consider, Ruth Ann – and I need the time and calm to get a balanced perspective about it all.  It’s a pretty permanent step!

She responded:

Holy Moley!

I understand that it’s a difficult decision to make and it’s hard when there are so many other things competing for attention.  It’s hard to adjust to a lesser income but a consideration about quality time to enjoy retirement is necessary too.

Whenever the GL Review is complete (early 2011???) we will be looking for some casual experienced helpers so that’s something to consider.

Take your time, consider everything.

Of course, I wasn’t being strictly honest with her. I’ve already made up my mind to go.  My plan is to book off Leave beginning September 1st, and thus August 31st will be my final day on the job.  I’ve enough banked paid time available to me that I can have ALL of September, ALL of October, and the first 23 days of November, as fully paid time off work.

My great hope is that I will find the means to augment that $1,800 monthly Pension.  I want never to have to do that commute to and from my workplace again, so returning for any special projects would imply a major failure of that opportunity that will never come my way again — almost three months with full Pay!  I MUST succeed during that time…somehow.

At any rate, at least my dream of Retirement has practically come to pass.   I’ll be free of my workplace in just two months’ time.

The realization of the remainder of my dream — Retiring to Thailand — is impossible to predict at this point.  My wife’s youngest son still has five more years of school before he has his Grade XII.  I hope to God to be spending time in Thailand well before that — even if it’s only to go on a Study Visa to attend AUA in Udon Thani for stretches of several months from time to time.

Indeed…so much yet to think about, and figure out.

Below are some Retirement-related articles currently making the news as I create this post.  It cannot be denied that I seem to be Retiring imprudently, but how is it possible to value in dollars what remains of one’s lifespan?  Yes, I have debt — my line-of-credit alone is at $80,000.  I have absolutely little idea what my wife has gotten herself into — she is looking at obtaining a loan just to pay her restaurant’s current monthly lease.  I know she has several credit cards — just a day or two ago, she phoned to consolidate two of them into one gold card with a 9% interest rate and an annual $50 fee.

But I am just about as personally miserable as it is possible to be, and still feel blessed to have what I do in my wife.

Without any doubt, there is adventure ahead!

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Tags: Retirement, thailand, Udon Thani

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